Journal entry 2025
TW- Suicide, anxiety, mental health. A few months ago, I rang up my mother crying, unaware of what that conversation would open up for me. While we were talking, she casually remarked how she had never known me to have cried a lot growing up. A simple observation that didn't seem to strike me for the few seconds and then it did. My mother was unaware of how easily or often I cried growing up. And that opened a Pandora's box of unpleasant memories. It struck me that I had cried almost every day for as long as my memory stood correct and that I had mostly cried before bedtime or after waking up. This meant two things, my immediate family did not always know of the crying and that it was not being triggered by an active element. It was mostly without an argument or fight, without being put in danger or harm's way. Over the past few years, it is well known among my social circles that I can cry at the drop of a hat. Some people, who've known me for over a couple of years k...